Ugh…

I am so exhausted. I’m not even sure how I managed to function for most of the week. I only managed to sleep maybe 10 hours since Saturday night/early Sunday morning, between the two jobs and handling the situation with my roomie. I truly went on autopilot for a couple of days. Didn’t really think about what I needed to do. I just did it.

He’s been admitted into the hospital for treatment, which is the best thing for him. He’ll make it through, I have no doubt of that. I think maybe the hardest part for him might be coming home and getting things back to normal. He has a lot of support though. His mom’s been in close contact with me about what’s going on. I think she’s visiting him every day and I’m rooting for him and his friends are, so he’s not really lacking in that department. Work and stuff is sure to be on the more difficult side, though.

In the meantime, there’s not really anything else to do but wait and hope for the best. I’m taking care of the house and cats (they miss him already). He’s worried that they won’t be fed for some reason (I would never neglect them and he knows it. They’re my furry little buddies), so his mom dropped off enough food to feed them for a month. Seriously.

I haven’t heard too much otherwise. The doctors are still trying to figure things out I think. Better they take the time to figure things out right than rush things along and give him a treatment that makes him worse.

On another topic, I’m sure it’s just because I’m tired that he’s driving me so crazy this week, but my boyfriend is going to send me to the psych ward lol.  He’s not shy at all about not trusting women and honestly not liking very many of us. He’s old school, wants a Suzie Homemaker, but one that works so she’s useful financially who does all the cooking and cleaning and pretty much runs his life for him so he doesn’t have to be bothered.

So last night he was going on about the person whose in charge of the household should be the one who works the hardest. I say that its me because I have two jobs, one of which is highly physical. He quickly backtracks and says the one with the most earning power. Bullshit. He makes like three times more per hour than me but I’ve somehow managed to give him a chunk of money for the truck and buying groceries and everything because he’s short of money because of his job switch. Really? Who exactly is the breadwinner right now?

Besides that, he’s on the north end of thirty. Well and old enough to take care of his own crap. Why should I work two jobs and clean two houses (mine and his) and do all of his household chores for him as well as my own at my place? What exactly am I getting out of it? His excuse is that women traditionally get a free place to live because the guy’s salary covers the mortgage, etc. Okay. That MIGHT fly if we actually lived together which he’s said he’s not ready for. So, what am I getting besides the occasional ride to work and a lot of aggravation?

His next excuse is that women like taking care of their man. We are not genetically programmed to like doing dishes and cooking and laundry. We’re not. I hate doing all that stuff as much as he does.

Sexist. And normally I can deal with it half decent but it was getting to the point last night where it’s just enough. Enough. There’s only so long you can put up with it without feeling like your partner hates you and it’s very near that point and I’ve said before after a comment that he’s made that it really makes me wonder why we’re even bothering to have a relationship. It’s not only that conversation. It’s a couple times a week.Why? Why are we doing this? Companionship apparently. It’s a valid answer, don’t get me wrong, but all he’s doing is making it relatively impossible.

I’ve tried to call him on it and nothing ever seems to work. I’ve tried to show him not all women screw over men. I’ve pointed out the many examples of how I’ve been screwed over by men and yet I don’t hold it against the whole gender. Only the ones who actually did it. I’ve showed him I’m just as capable of living my life as he is (although with less financial ability because I make less). I’ve tried to make him do the chores. I stopped doing his weekend dishes for weeks and they didn’t get done until I did a couple sink fulls then he stepped in and did the rest.

It’s downright frustrating, aggravating and more than a little bit hurtful sometimes. I’ve tried to tell him, show him I get angry about it and he either doesn’t get it or outright ignores it.

Anyhow, as it is now my weekend from the store, I’m going to go have some coffee with espresso vodka and a hot bath. I might even knit a little to relax.

Have a good weekend!

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